Monday, September 30, 2013

What's the plan?

So what was the plan moving forward?  Was the plan to move into level 1 of Skull Mountain?  Were you going to search around the neighborhood for a lair?   Buy masks?  I was going to suggest that you could send Jebbly and Robert's new guy into town for supplies, but Jebbly can't talk and Robert's guy is a freaking LIZARDMAN. 

I was hoping someone would have taken Presfen's Journal to read through and comment to others on, but you left it here.  I suppose I could try to scan it.

Man that Mortal Wounds table is BRUTAL

It's going to be a lot of fun watching Miller the Torch Eunuch and Lipless Jebbly stagger around the dungeon next time.   Man, you really, really don't want to go below 0 hit points.  No sir.

Session Photo

Chaos monkies attack!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Site Illustrations

I'm looking to collect some more art for the site. Here's one I got for $5. It is a picture of a bishop kick-flipping a skateboard whilst wailing on an electric guitar.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Because nobody asked for it: Badaxe Hold

Badaxe Hold is a small dwarven vault located roughly halfway between Boscovania and Bastardville, in the hills along the river. The founder of the stronghold is a Dwarven Craft-Lord who calls himself 'Badaxe Jack', a former adventurer and son of Stingy Jack, the Vaultlord of Stingy Jack's Freehold (a less lively vault located roughly in the middle of the Badlands). Badaxe Hold maintains friendly relations with Stingy Jack's Freehold and Boscovania, warm relations with Portchester and the smaller towns/villages in the northern badlands, and strictly business relations with Bastardville. Anybody associating with orcs (half-orcs are judged on their individual behavior), goblins, undead, old ones, barrow elves and other known enemies of dwarves are made violently unwelcome in the area.

Badaxe Hold is notable mostly for the actions and policies of it's leader. Badaxe Jack provides significant benefits to the dwarves under his leadership, including free housing (in multiple refurbished mines under the vault), employment (every dwarf who can swing a pick can work in the mines in the area), medical care (clerical spells cast by the Badaxe himself or an under-priest or certain magic items), and provides affordable, quality weapons and armor to the populace. In addition, Badaxe is working hard to attract other dwarven craftsmen into the area. He provides workspace, and affordable tools, to mundane craftsmen (smiths, armorers, etc), and maintains a sizable workshop, and research library, for craft-priests or machinists. It is also worth mentioning that Badaxe Jack maintains a monopoly on the market for the buying and selling of gems and precious metals in his territory.

Badaxe Jack is a neutral traditional craft-priest, following the old traditions of the dwarven religion. However, he is not overtly opposed to the more lawful, Bor-inspired traditions of the new dwarven religion. Badaxe is more interested in building things, and improving the lives of his people, than participating in religious debates.

Notable persons in the vault include:
Badaxe Jack (Level 9 Craftpriest, master weaponsmith and master siege engineer)
-Craft lord
Feeble Jack (Level 4 Craftpriest, master dwarven brewer and master alchemist)
-Owner of Feeble Jack's Boffo Brewery
New Jack (Level 5 Dwarven Machinist, master locksmith)
Old Jack (Level 5 Dwarven Vaultguard, vault military leader)

Badaxe Hold Market Demands
Grain, vegetables -1
Fish, preserved +3
Wood, common +2
Animals +0
Salt +1
Beer, ale +0
Oil, lamp +2
Textiles -2
Hides, furs +2
Tea or coffee +0
Metals, common -2
Meats, preserved +0
Cloth -2
Wine, spirits -2
Pottery +1
Tools -3
Armor, weapons -3
Dye & pigments +1
Glassware +1
Mounts +1
Monster parts +0
Wood, rare +1
Furs, rare +2
Metals, precious -4
Ivory +3
Spices +1
Porcelain, fine +0
Books, rare +1
Silk -1
Semipr. Stones -3
Gems -6

Next Session

Next ACKS game, Sunday September 29th, 4pm.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

This site's scheme

I've noticed that some of the comments lately have been coming out blackish, which makes them a bit hard to see on a blackish background.   As a general preference, I'd like it better if the site had a light background with dark letters, rather than dark with light letters.

Saturday, September 21, 2013


Issue #1: March 21st, 1430
Editor in Chief: Bosco Smokey, president of Boscovania Fine Smokeables
ITEM: Baldwulf the Atheling Is Slain; Athalwyn taken hostage
The word is all around the kingdom and the northern Badlands that the kidnappers who had taken Baldwulf the Atheling hostage murdered him in front of Athalwyn, his sister, and then proceeded the kidnap her. A surviving critically wounded bodyguard, named Froedigar, was a bit fuzzy on the details, but it seems it was a dispute over the ransom money. The crimes occurred at the beloved Frank’s Awesome Pies in the dock district of Portchester city (a distributor of Bosco-brand Smokeables). The kidnappers also murdered 2 church servants and severely injured two others in addition to wounding Father Flavio of the Dock’s Edge Parish, when they attempted to rescue Athalwyn from their vile clutches.
ITEM: Descriptions of the Killers
Patrons at Frank’s Awesome Pies report that the killers include a Viking, the ugliest dwarf in the world, a wizard and a loudly self-proclaimed follower of Chuck Norris. The same Viking seems to have alone killed the church workers and injured Father Flavio.
ITEM: The Kings Make Statements
His Majesty Osmund II, of the Osric Line, says that Baldwulf’s killer must be brought to trial and face the fair and impartial justice that only he can dispense.
His Majesty Thurbrand, of the Hildric Line, says that he will pay a princely reward for the return of his niece, and if the killers of Baldric are found they should be taken at any cost.
ITEM: Peaches is suspicious of strange visitors
The preeminent innkeeper of Boscovania, the delightful Peaches, was overheard saying that one group of travelers at the inn were very suspicious. They kept a young woman shackled and head-bagged during their arrival. Usually, folks wait until they get to their rooms to do that sort of thing.
ITEM: WIgred the Bounty Hunter is missing
Wigred has missed an important meeting with the Earl of Southshires. Perhaps he is hot on the trail of the killers already!
ITEM: Grenda offers Ransom for Athalwyn
Grenda, the Earl’s daughter, a childhood friend of Athalwyn, has offered to pawn some of her jewels and pay up to 1500gp in ransom for Athalwyn, despite her father’s objection.
ITEM: Wanted: Miller the Torchboy
After questioning the Earl of Southshire's guards, it appears that a certain “Miller the Torchboy” was the one who delivered the ransom demand for Baldwulf. King Thurbrand has offered a 200gp reward for his arrest.
Advertisement: Remember, for all your Smokeable Needs in the Badlands, come to Boscovania Fine Smokeables, next to Peaches' in Boscovania. First 5 customers with this paper, get a free cigar. Bosco Brand is the BEST!

PDF copy of this Newspaper available here:  Gatavia Newspapers and Journals

Thursday, September 19, 2013

New Newspaper

I'm going to start up the Campaign Newspaper again.  You know, where I give "in-game" reports about what the world's NPC's have heard or know about what the PC's are up to.

I've got a few ideas for titles:

"The Portchester News-Ledger"  this was the title in the last campaign, I suppose we could keep it going, but I thought we might consider a change.

"Boscovania News and Funk Report, by Bosco Smokey"  get the news from a Boscovania perspective.

"Bad News from the Badlands"  Bad News everyone?

"The Jebbly Journal"--news from the Henchman perspective (or this could be a recurring column in the main paper.

Opinions? Better Ideas? Suggestions?

Also, should I "publish" it primarily on this site, or continue to attach it as an e-mail?

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

It's Official:

In case you were wondering, you guys are now officially called the "Skull Collectors" whether you want to be or not.   Chuck called it, you can't uncall it.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Other People Have Other Problems

I just read this post over at "RPG.NET" 

I think my head just exploded.

"This is my first post in this section, so usual disclaimers apply: hope I'm in the right place, etc. Also, it's a silly post, but I'd appreciate the thoughts of more experienced gamers.

So, at the start of this year I joined my wife's gaming group. It's been fun times, though it's sometimes evident that the way I'm naturally inclined to play is different than how everyone else plays. (We're playing 4e, not that I think it's overly important for the nature of the problem) They like to kill stuff, and even the paladin is kind of a morally-ambiguous hardass. My character - a crossdressing Half-Elf bard and courtesan - quickly became the conscience of the party. He put rescuing NPCs as a priority and wouldn't attack anything that wasn't obviously hostile. As I said, it's contrary to the rest of the party's motivation, but the DM assures me he likes it, as it's leading the party to do things he didn't expect (he knows the other players very well).

And this brings me to my current situation. The party encountered some unicorns that were afflicted with a kind of magical sickness that's affecting various NPCs. They were being chased. My character would have helped anyway, but in what seems to have been a genuine coincidence, he really adores unicorns. The party succeeded in saving all of the unicorns, and one of them gave birth. While the adult unicorns returned to the Feywild to seek a cure for their disease, the baby unicorns are trapped in the regular world until they reach adulthood. And my character, being who he is, swore to protect them. Now, the party's main healer is protecting two baby unicorns from things that can kill them in one hit.

From talking with the DM, this was never supposed to happen: he didn't expect the party to help the unicorns. And I'm not sure what to do here. My character can't let them die. Protecting them constantly will be to the detriment of the party as a whole, because other people need healing too. I could simply retire my character from the campaign: this would be logical, but a shame as I really enjoy playing him.

The DM has asked me what I plan to do, and is willing to discuss possible solutions, but I'm really not sure how best to approach this problem. What do you do when your character suddenly has a duty that's at odds with the main mission? For the DMs amongst you, how would you like to see this resolved if it happened in your campaign?"

Chuck's E-Mail Must be Posted

Well, there seems to be an overwhelming message here ...

-- >> (Somebody) will probably hire bounty hunters to hunt them down and kill them << --

Hence, here are some thoughts I have arrived at !

#1 Flee to some far off land and wait for the bounty hunters to find us !
#2 Hang out at peaches till the bounty hunters find us !
#3 Head back to our new fortified base of operations and wait for the bounty hunters to find us !
#4 Head back to skull mountain and throw ourselves at the mercy of Presfan to work with him ...
and wait for the bounty hunters to find us !

Or ... the coolest option ....

Go back to Skull Mountain, Totally KICK Presfan's ASS and make him our bitch ! Loot the hell outta
Skull Mountain, and buy our own group of brigands to help loot the mountain and surrounding areas!

-- And Kick the CRAP outta any bounty hunter stooooopid enough to come after our new gang ...
The Skull Collectors ! We need to decorate the outside of the mountain with some skulls,
that will give the place a more homey feel !

-- As far as what to do with the princess Athalwyn,
... I say we let her go, a good story always needs a good Antagonist !
However, she needs to promise (LoL) to send us the 1,000gp she owes us.
Then she will need not worry about us coming after her, OR hiring bounty hunters to kill her !
As well, as send her off with the threat of having Rotwang implant his seed in her !
-- O yeah, and she must accept the death of her brother as ware guild for the besmirching
of THE ONE (brother Punchy) and his God CHUCK NORRIS !!!

Or perhaps she would like to be the second skull placed upon the entrance to Skull Mountain ???

WHAT SAY YOU !!! I think we got a plan !

O yes, and Brother Punchy has a new punch line ...
-- The price you pay, for besmirching the name of Chuck Norris, is, I collect your FRICKIN head, just like this F#$&ker here !


The One, Brother Punchy
of the The Skull Collectors !
Faithful follower of the mighty Chuck Norris !

Monday, September 16, 2013

I don't know...

After last night, I don't know whether to start an "Actual Play" thread over at the ACKS board.  On the one hand, it is sort of like the original "Blackmore Bunch" getting exiled to Lake Gloomy after letting Castle Blackmoor get sacked.  On the other, cutting off a prince's head in the middle of an awesome pie shop is a bit embarassing. 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Standard Issue Looting Sack...

From now on, my characters aren't carrying large sacks. They're carrying standard issue looting sacks.

Retiring the Wall

This morning I'm going to retire the WALL OF DEAD HENCHMEN from the Badlands (Gatavia II) Campaign, in honor of the the beginning of Gatavia III.

Here are some pictures to immortalize it:

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Thinking about Fall-In this year

I'm thinking about going to the Historical Miniatures convention "Fall-In" this year.  It's going to be in Lancaster.

I had gone to 3-4 of the other conventions over the last 12 years or so, but haven't gone for a number of years now.

In the past I've gone for only a single day, and mostly just went to buy things at the dealer's hall.   Once I played in the "Warhammer Ancient Battles" tournament (and came in last, well it was the first time I had actually played the game, and I nearly won one of the three matches).  I did learn not to do that sort of thing, since I had to bring my own army, and it was a major pain in the ass schlepping it around.  

This time, I might consider signing up and playing some Game-Mastered games (where the dumb game-master brings the armies, and the players just show up and play). 

It's going to be November 15th or thereabouts.   Admission is rather steep, but what are you going to do?   Here's the info site:  Fall-In 2013

The amount of stuff in the dealer room is pretty dang impressive.  I might even wander through the flea market where non-dealers sell their old stuff.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A song for the hobby

Apparently, Roger Moore was once overheard singing this song, to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"

I once had a box of toy soldiers
I knocked off the general's head
I broke all my sergeants and corporals
So, I play with my privates instead.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013


If anyone wants to purchase equipment before next game,  Portchester is a Class III Market.  What this means is as follows, if you want to buy any item from the gear book, you are limited to the number you can buy in a month based on the price of the item as follows:

Price 1gp or less:       260 available

Price 2-10gp:              15 available

Price 11-100gp:          2 available

Price 101gp-1000gp:   1 available

Price over 1000gp:  check with me first.

Monday, September 2, 2013

The Cast-offs

All 12 of our cast-off characters from the roll-up session have now entered the first level henchman deck:

Bloody-Nose: orkin thug
Bobby the Broken Bard
Toki Wartooth:  elf ranger
Zaphandle:  human warlock
Grug Ug:  orkin hexmaster
Ball Sacker: gnome titan
Pete McTesty:  gnome titan
Tantus, fleet of foot:  lackey
Cracky the Lackey
Bluto the Lackey
Brutus the Lackey
Smiley Bob:  human venturer